Make a Difference...

32 years ago, a phrase entered my vocabulary from two teachers I had in junior high school (Belair Jr. High, Pine Bluff, Arkansas) - my first band director, Mr. E.M. Carlton, and my 8th Grade English teacher Mrs. Sandra Boone. While the phrase wasn't one I remember either of these people using, these two dedicated teachers more clearly demonstrated the concept more clearly than any other teacher I had in school. It wasn't that they blew their own horns (Mr. Carlton was a very good trombone player), but that they simply cared enough to "make a difference". They invested in their students, and neither shied away from giving out tough love!

Little did I know that years later, this phrase would become my own life goal. First, as a teacher and band director myself, my desire was - through the medium of music - to make a difference in the lives of my students. The difference might not so much to be measured by awards, accomplishments, or accolades, but by changes in attitudes, desires, and aims in life.  I remember one specific and very small example came when a former student from my humble 7th Grade music appreciation class who had no desire to be introduced to the music we studied, who several years later made a bee-line to find me to share with me that she had been able to see a musical we had studied in class - and how much she was grateful I had introduced her class to that whole genera of music.  While not necessarily an eternal impact, it was a great honor to be able to help some students not only gain an appreciation for music in their lives beyond what was "popular", but for some to actually grow to love music.

Then the Lord called me to ministry, and no surprise - that same phrase for life equally applies! The big difference now being it could be of eternal value!  The life of a minister of the Gospel, preacher, and pastor is called in scripture is one of doing everything in the mission of "making a difference". Isaiah put it like this in Isaiah 52:7:

How beautiful upon the mountains

are the feet of him who brings good news,

who publishes peace, who brings good news of happiness,

who publishes salvation,

who says to Zion, "Your God reigns."

I like to believe that what I am charged with is to bring the Good News of Jesus Christ to this lost and dying world, to proclaim the truth that there is but One Way - The Way, The Truth and The Life. I am charged with being a "Watchman on the Wall" - crying out warnings of judgment. I am called to love those that God places in my life as sheep in a flock. Jesus calls His ministers to "feed my sheep".  With this charge also comes the serious reminder found in Romans 14:12 that I "will give an account"  before the Lord. 

As a pastor, I have seen some beautiful things, have witnessed some incredible change in lives, and have been blessed to indeed "make a difference". But sometimes those attempts to make a difference are derailed - sometimes by those who would seek to disrupt anything that glorifies God or helps lead people to saving faith in Jesus Christ. Satan would like nothing better than to derail the Gospel. But when the Devil loses one, he then goes to work to try to quell the Spirit, to prevent any real, life-long change. He sets his sights on being that bushel basket Jesus warns believers to not cover our light with. And sometimes it is the pastor who allows his light to be covered.

When my heart is broken to reach out to someone in need, only to be bashed or abused - it leads to discouragement that, when left unchecked, casts a shadow over the light of Christ in my life.

When I proclaim the need to forgive, yet hold on to unforgiveness in my heart - my light grows dimmer.

When I allow the inconsistencies I witness in others lead to inconsistencies in my own life - 

When the harsh treatment I may receive turns into my own harshness towards others, especially my family - 

What kind of "difference" am I making?

As surely as a consistent, Christ-centered, Bible-following life can make an eternal difference in someone's life, so too can harsh words, poor decisions, or even missteps!

How many souls have been pushed away from church by the words or actions by a pastor or other minister (or me)?

How many lives have been shattered by abuses from the pulpit?

How many people I have come into contact with, within or outside the church, have I failed to "make a difference" (at least a positive difference) because of my own pity-party?  How often have I, because of allowing myself to become jaded by what I have witnessed and experienced - and completely fail when compared to the words of my Savior in Matthew 25:34-46 - having not helped the poor, fed the hungry, visited those imprisoned, etc.?

I don't "work for accolades and fame". Any glory that might comes is due only to God. But my heart breaks when it seems that I am not making a difference at all.

When a preacher proclaims the Word and doesn't see any apparent impact - he gets discouraged, with the question "did it make any difference?"

When pews or chairs stay empty on Sunday morning, discouragement grows like a cancer.

And discouragement, like a snowball rolling down a hillside, grows and become much more difficult to stop (much less reverse), further feeding the feeling of failure in the aim of making a difference.

And to be totally honest - I am personally struggling in ways I never have before. I am not wavering in my faith. I am not shaken in my absolute conviction that the Lord has called me to be a pastor. And I most certainly still desire, possibly more than anything else, to genuinely make a difference! I do not feel (I really hate feelings - a tough spot for someone who is a fairly emotional person) these days like I am making much of a real difference. I feel inadequate for all the Lord has placed before me - from my ministry, to being a husband and a father. I know and fully believe that the Lord equips and empowers those He calls. I just wish He would grant me an extra measure of His Grace.  I long for an answer to the prayer like the one in 2 Kings 6:17 - where Elisha prayed "O LORD, please open his eyes that he may see." In that case, the LORD did open the yes of the young man - allowing Him to see that the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.

Oh LORD - please open MY eyes to your presence, your power, and your perfect plan, because LORD - feel like I am just wandering in the wilderness. Lord - help me with more than just proclaiming your Word - I want to make a real difference.  Lord - I need to see the plans you have for me - I need encouragement, I need wisdom.  LORD - I need you. Help me to be the spiritual leader in my home, the husband I need to be, the father my girls need. LORD - guide my words and actions as I try to lead the people you have called me to care for. Help me to not be discouraged by people, but instead to recognize that the battle is not with people, but with the rulers, authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." Lord, help me to really "take up the whole armor of God", that I might "withstand in the evil day, having done all, to stand firm" (Ephesians 6:12-13). Lord - help the church you have entrusted to my care to also grasp the vision of making a difference, led by your Spirit.

Hard-Learned Advice for the Prospective Young Pastor*

When I went through the Teacher Education program at the University of Central Arkansas (Instrumental Music Education), I was convinced that - upon graduation, I was fully equipped and "ready" to take on the world. After all, I had a mind filled with knowledge, advice from those who had "been there", and a whole semester of pretend teaching (aka - Student Teaching). I had passed the Test (newly renamed the Praxis Testing). I was A Teacher!

Then I entered the real world, where all the knowledge I thought I had garnered was only a tiny bit of what I needed to know. I entered blindsided, beaten, and bruised. It took about 5 years in the band room to finally begin to even pretend reasonably that I had a clue.

So it should not have been a surprise to find that, upon the irresistible (and boy did I try!) call of God to enter pastoral ministry, I would again find myself in the familiar, unfamiliar world of eye-opening misadventure and bruising. While many lessons learned in 14 years of public school band directing has been a great toolbox to draw from, I find myself still in awe of how totally unqualified I often feel, and how broken my heart often is. I was given very little guidance as to the "real world" life of pastoral ministry, even in my otherwise hugely beneficial Seminary work. As a relatively short-term "veteran" of the pastoral ministry pulpit, I offer up the following words of wisdom/advice to the budding "young" (either in age, or to the call itself) pastor.

1. If you can do ANYTHING else other than pastoral ministry - then do THAT! I Heard this sage advice at some point after I began my first pastorate. Too late to benefit me and my own ministry, but not too late for many others who may follow. The long-and-short: If the Lord will allow you peace with the decision to pursue a secular career, avoiding pastoral ministry altogether, then you might rightfully guess that you are not called to pastoral ministry. Pastoral ministry WILL beat you up. Pastoral ministry WILL break your heart. There is a very solid reason that the "job" among the most honorable among all (according to the Bible), is high on the ranks of those jobs filled by men with depression. So - if you are able to walk away from the perceived "call", then do. If you are genuinely called to this avenue - God will not let you have rest.

2. Do NOT try to be a friend to the church members in your care. This is not as sad as it sounds. You should indeed love the sheep as Jesus loves them. But just as I learned early-on in the public school classroom, if you are their "friend", it grows much harder to speak to accountability and discipline. Further, these kinds of friendships rarely turn out well (I can count on one hand the number that I have experienced myself, or have heard other pastors reflect on, that have been long-term positives). Love them. Care for them, but do not befriend them unless you are prepared to be hurt in ways you never thought possible.

3. Don't try this at home. Or better - do everything you can to isolate your pastoral ministry from your family. Protect your family. The unfortunate reality is - pastor's wives (and even children) are often saddled with not only unreasonable expectations, but undo and unfair scrutiny and pressures. As a pastor, you will be called on to advise adults to leave their work AT WORK, so that it does not become a divisive stumbling block in their family - listen to that advice yourself!  Love your wife and children. Be the spiritual head of your household. But do not allow the pressures of pastoral ministry attack your family. Leave them at the church office/behind the pulpit. Love your family, protect your family.

4. NEVER skimp on your time with the Lord. The book of Acts (chapter 6) begins with the calling out of 7 deacons to help take care of the issues, fires, and service needed in that early church - why?  So the pastors/elders could devote themselves to prayer and the "ministry of the Word". As a pastor, you must constantly be filling yourself with the Word of God - both for your own protection, edification, and preparation - just as we try to communicate to our church members, but also (and vitally important to the man trying to serve as an "undershepherd") to being a faithful "Minister of the Word". And when you reflect back on some of the other points of advice prior to this entry, and those following, prayer and the Word of God will help sustain you when you encounter the many tribulations, trials, and temptations that will most certainly come.

5. Find a brother in the ministry, not of your own congregation, who is willing to serve to hold you accountable and for moral support. We can easily forget that the one person in a local church who has no pastor, is the pastor! Yet we are human. We need someone to help us to stay accountable, to lift us up when we are beaten, and to hold our spiritual hand in prayer as we struggle. Remember the truth of the saying "no man is an island".

6. Watch for knives! Its a shame that those called to ministry are not given the miraculous gift of x-ray vision. Be prepared, keep your eyes open, for there will be those who will pat you on the back, give you a great big hug, then plunge a huge knife into your back as soon as you let your guard down. The most likely to do this are not the anti-church people who are openly rebelling against God outside the church, but by those who have been entrusted to your care. The knives will sometimes begin as odd comments, or maybe secretive "behind-closed-doors" meetings that you won't know about until after (if ever). Some people just do not like to hear stuff like Hebrews 13:17 that says to "Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you."

Any time there is someone in authority, there will be those (even some with good intentions) who will despite chastisement, who will not appreciate sincere efforts to lead, and who will want it "their way". It is the reality of ministry. 

7. Preach discipline, but don't expect the church to exercise it willingly. Church discipline as outlined by Jesus, and detailed by the Apostle Paul is really pretty easy to preach and teach on, but is one of the most rejected/ignored concepts in most churches. There is always an excuse. There is always an extenuating circumstance. Someone will not want to hurt a friend or family member's feelings. The Lord wouldn't include clear instructions on the matter, if it were not important! But go in with your eyes open, knowing that there will be huge resistance to discipline.

8. If you are called by a church or denominational work to lead a congregation (especially a very small one) that has been through incredible turmoil and upheaval - think long, and pray harder. How often have we heard the story of a young lady marrying a fellow with the grand and almost altruistic goal of "I thought I could change him"? Very rare is the church that goes through massive turmoil or trouble that the blow up and/or split came out of the blue and was based on nothing. There are reasons that build up to such trouble. Splits rarely actually address the issue. Further, any pastor entering behind such a painful event in a church's history (particularly a young and/or inexperienced pastor) will be put in a nearly no-win situation (nothing is impossible with Christ, don't get me wrong). But starting out in such a position is a significant opportunity to derail and discourage a ministry before it even gets fully launched. It takes a truly gifted person, with a very specific and specialized set of gifts to be able to successfully minister in such situations.

9. Don't "major in the minors". While one can rightly say that 100% of God's Word is important, it gets really easy to be bogged down personally with matters of doctrine, theology, and Christian faith that ultimately detract us from the Gospel and from the genuine "Majors" of the faith. It is easy to get tangled in everything from eschatology (theology of the end times) to the temperature the thermostats are set on. Don't allow the relatively "little" things overcome the most important aspects of doing ministry. Save the hair=splitting details for discussion in spiritually mature contexts. Always speak the truth. Never compromise. But don't get bogged down to the point where you lose the whole focus of the Word of God. 

10. Know that there will be "tares" among the wheat. (Matthew 13:24-30). The sad truth is - there will be unredeemed people who are "members" of any church. It is inevitable. They will sometimes be evident by a lack of any measurable spiritual growth, while at other times their presence will be made keenly obvious by their defiance, disobedience to God's Word, selective acceptance of scripture, an through their own offense at the Word being proclaimed. These will often be chief among troublemakers and is a reminder of why Church Discipline is important - and why we must regularly, boldly, and faithfully:

11. Proclaim the Gospel! Charles Spurgeon once said (paraphrased) that with any Biblical text he would preach, he would start at the text and preach to the cross. All of Scripture, in some way, points to Christ. All of scripture fits into the great Gospel plan of redemption God laid out before the foundation of the world. The Gospel message is timeless, powerful, and the center of all the rest of our purpose, goals, and mission as a local church.

12. There is no "perfect church" - Churches are made up of human beings, with all the failings, issues, troubles, and concerns that come with this sinful flesh. The hope and prayer is that most will be born-again, and in the process of becoming more Christ-like. But in the meantime, remember - if there were a "perfect church", none of us would be qualified to lead it, myself least qualified of all!

Know that - when you are betrayed (not if), that Jesus was betrayed. Know that, when your heart is broken, Jesus wept over Jerusalem... Know that you will be tempted and tried (Remember Jesus). But also cling to the truth that, if Jesus has called you to pastoral ministry, He is there with you. Just be faithful, grow some thick skin, and be true to the Word.

* Garnered from years of service, church membership, and friendships with fellow laborers. No specific individuals where in-mind while writing this, though certainly were I to dwell on it, I could "name-names". But that serves no positive, God-glorifying purpose. I have chosen to forgive and to learn. And honestly, more than likely, even with this advice, you will (as I have time and again) fail to heed it - you will love the people you serve, and will make friends. You will be discouraged, you will be hurt and battered, but the Lord is faithful - and He will sustain you and carry you through. Stay true, run the race, and be faithful.

Defeated

Noun	1.	defeated - people who are defeated; "the Romans had no pity for the defeated"
Adj.	1.	defeated - beaten or overcome; not victorious; "the defeated enemy"
	2.	defeated - disappointingly unsuccessful; "disappointed expectations and thwarted ambitions"

It doesn't take much listening to preachers of today to hear said time and again we are to live "victorious" lives. The bit of truth to that concept is that we, through Christ, are given the victory over bondage to sin and to death. And we are to live lives that reflect that victory (another illustration of the light we are not to cover with a bushel basket).

But sadly, life is filled with defeats - As the definition above from Farlex's Free Dictionary reminds us - the term "defeated" can be both a noun and an adjective. It can also be an emotion.

I can honestly say that I have very rarely doubted, and never seriously doubted, my call to ministry. I can say without fear of contradiction that I have longed for another calling.  Why? mostly because of the emotion (and sometimes literal) defeat I have felt. Some is the result of what I can label as nothing less than pride, while at other times, the defeated feelings have come when, despite my best effort, most sincere prayers, and best of intentions, I have failed (at least in my own eyes).

How many people have I shared, or tried to share, the Gospel of Jesus Christ with, who have continued on without any sign of trusting the message? While I realize it is not Michael they are rejecting, but Jesus Christ - it is hard to hold on to that when the experience is so regular.

Or when I feel defeated because I find that I have not been dealt with honestly.

Or when I realize that I have genuinely failed - as a pastor, husband, or father (even if in but a relatively small way).

I feel defeated when I allow doubts to creep in.

I feel defeated when I allow emotions to overrule faith and what I know to be true.

I feel defeated when I believe I have "done it right, but see no results".

Is it unreasonable to feel defeated as a pastor, when you see little or no growth in the ministry? Is it unfair to characterize myself as having failed when the church I am serving in finds itself approaching the uncomfortable position of not being able to pay my salary?

Have I not defeated myself when I have led my family to rely upon a certain income level, to not be set up for family defeat with the prospects of a major salary cut and the need to find secular employment (I have absolutely nothing against bi-vocational ministry, but I also recognize the costs and special challenges involved - the subject of a whole other discussion to soon follow).

Is it wrong to feel defeated when it seems you are spinning your proverbial wheels, but getting little traction?

Is it improper to feel defeated when members your own flock are afraid or unwilling to share their issues with you, preferring to remain silent and allowing interpersonal troubles with others to fester and grow?

Is it out of line to feel defeat when you pour your heart and soul into trying to help, guide, and direct people to make better decisions - God-glorifying decisions, only to see them repeatedly reject or throw away those efforts?

Satan loves for the followers of Christ to feel defeated. In part because he knows that we are not ultimately and eternally defeated - so his only means of discouraging us, of derailing our ministry (whether vocational ministry or layman ministry) is by pushing us to live defeated lives.

The sad truth is - it is easy in the building up of my own little pity-party of defeat, that the joy of salvation grows dim. Its at times like this that I just have to cling to such passages as what King David wrote in Psalm 51:9-12

Hide your face from my sins,

and blot out all my iniquities.

Create in me a clean heart, O God,

and renew a right spirit within me.

Cast me not away from your presence,

and take not your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation,

and uphold me with a willing spirit...

Or - as set to music by Mac Powell:

To my readers - I ask for your prayers as my family must address the realities set before us and seek God's plan and provision. I pray for peace and for the restoration of my heart and soul. I pray for genuine progress in ministry. I pray for clarity, vision, and strength. 

The Injustice of Selective Outrage

Anyone with open eyes or ears today is well aware of at least one, and likely two very high-profile cases. The first, and most dramatic, being that of Michael Brown, who was shot and killed by Ferguson police officer Darren Wilson on August 9, 2014. An event that almost immediately led to a series of actions, violence, rioting, looting, and other criminal acts in the name of "outrage". Even the President of the United States, Barack Obama, and his head of the Justice Department, Eric Holder jumped quickly on the bandwagon to label the incident as a racially-motivated crime against an unarmed, surrendering black male (6'5" tall, and bumping 300lbs, though immediately called a "gentile giant"). Thousands of people stormed the streets of Ferguson, Missouri, overturning cars, breaking windows, setting structures and vehicles ablaze in immediate outrage.

Celebrities joined the fray with accusations, and most of the mainstream media continued to add fuel to the fire. Capping the events were the typical suspects of race-hustlers, including the "Reverend" Al Sharpton. Yet even as the outrage swelled, and gestures of hands in the air became almost a symbol of pop culture, evidence began emerging that the version of the events as told by Officer Wilsion told was the most accurate. Indeed, we have since found out that Officer Wilson had lived a life far from one that reflected someone with racial bias. Death threats quickly emerged. As the hearing before a Grand Jury grew closer, organizers began planning out specific targets (oddly enough, with very specific racial lines stated).

Then comes the Grand Jury's decision to not insight Officer Wilson, as the evidence did not support pursing criminal charges (having the effect of identifying the shooting as justifiable). Within an hour, riots and looting again breaking out. Sadly, video emerged of parents taking along very young children in their looting exploits.

Soon after the Grand Jury decision in the Ferguson case, the media began focusing attention on another case, this one in New York involving City Police who in a videotaped incident, used a chokehold on Eric Garner, leading ultimately to his death. Again, a Grand Jury decided to not insight officers. In this case, there were large-scale protests, but not the violence seen in the wake of the Ferguson case.

Inflammatory statements have been put out - such as "police (implied as white officers) have declared open season on black males", with many from the Congressional Black Caucus, to several pundits in the media (and even a handful of players on the St. Louis Rams football team) joining in the "show".

A viral hashtag #BlackLivesMatter has emerged as a top trending hit on Twitter...

And the more I see, the more frustrated, and even offended I am becoming. The question begs - do not not all lives matter? My Bible does not differentiate by race. In fact, in the Old Testament, the Law required the blood of those who murdered others. In my lifetime, I have witnessed many changes in race relations. I have watched race relations improve, and in the last 6 years take a serious turn for the worse.  I was raised to look first at a person's character, and to treat everyone as a person.  Yet one of the greatest factors in perpetuating and more recently inflaming race issue has been, oddly enough, the dwelling on race. In particular, as we see in the recent high-profile cases (and the previous very public case of George Zimmerman and the young man he shot and killed, Trayvon Martin), the knee-jerk outrage, based apparently, not so much on the event itself, but the race (or perceived race) of the perpetrator and victim.

Do #BlackLivesMatter? Of course. But I again say, the Bible says ALL life matters. Injustice is injustice. If we want racism to die (or at least substantially disappear), the first key is going to be to quit picking and choosing which lives we identify as valuable. When anyone is killed (or brutalized) by law enforcement - we should raise the same questions, and if indeed it is unjust, be outraged, regardless of the race of the officer(s) or the victim. Just as we should be outraged when mobs of teens rampage through the streets playing the so-called "knock-out game" (with the near exclusive perpetrators being young African-Americans, and victims being any other race). Al Sharpton should start showing up when any serious human injustice emerges (and only when the evidence is clear it is, indeed an injustice).

We as a society must open our eyes to the fact that the sins of hate (Jesus literally stated that if we "hate", we commit murder in our hearts!), pride, selfishness, and jealousy are wrong, regardless of who they are targeted towards.

As many dwell on the past in our own nation (with slavery being a reemerging topic, thanks to the likes of Representative Charles Rangel), slavery and human trafficking is actually growing in our world -with no single race being targeted. How about joining together to fight it wherever it happens TODAY?

And the one true puzzle to me when it comes to selective outrage - one that is possibly more offensive than the previously-discussed episodes - is that horrors and injustice that our own culture, in the United States, where our nation was launched with the Declaration of Independence, that opens its preamble with We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are LIFE... has chosen collectively to legitimize the deprivation of this first delineated right to over 56 million unborn babies in the last 40+ years. If this truth isn't worth of outrage, then how about the statistic that black babies in New York are statistically more likely to be aborted than to be born! Or how about the selective outrage over the supposed open hunting season on black males by law enforcement (never mind that statistically, black men are shot by black officers at the same rate as by white officers), while the number one cause of death of young black males, is murder by other black males.

Michael Brown committed a crime involving some "low-level" violence against a convenience store owner (who, by the way, was victimized again by the latest round of looting and riots in Ferguson), and apparently did struggle physically with the much smaller Officer Wilson. Did Brown "deserve to die" for his strong-arm robbery of the convenience store? No. Did he "deserve to die" in the street, riddled with bullets? i won't even say he deserved that. But he did make a series of bad decisions that began long before that fateful August day that led to what ultimately became his last decision. But even then - it grieves me that he lost his life as a result.

Eric Garner was breaking the law (selling untaxed cigarettes on a street corner), and he was somewhat less than cooperative with police (who were made up of multiple races). Did he deserve to die for that "crime"?  No.  Am I saddened by his death? Yes.

But I am also grieved for the officers who have been murdered by perpetrators of many races. I am outraged when a person can get drunk get behind the wheel of a vehicle and kill someone else through their intoxicated driving, and essentially get a slap on the wrist.

I am outraged when a driver chooses to ignore the flashing lights and the swing-out stop sign on a school bus, going around the stopped bus, striking and killing the child who just stepped off the bus (regardless of the race of that child or the driver).

I am outraged when there are people who have a vested, financial incentive to perpetuate racism, who constantly drum up race, even when it has nothing to do with a situation.

I too am outraged when it does seem that sometimes our legal system does not wear the blindfold "Lady Justice" is usually depicted wearing.

I am outraged and saddened when Islamic terrorists round up professed Christians, and violently execute them for their faith.

And we should all be outraged by the same. Treat injustice as injustice. Be consistent. To be selectively outraged is to destroy any credibility one has.

The answer is quite simple - lets do what Jesus said to do when He was quizzed on the "greatest commandment:

"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself."

#LifeMatters
#NoMoreSelectiveOutrage
#InjusticeIsInjustice