Defeated

Noun	1.	defeated - people who are defeated; "the Romans had no pity for the defeated"
Adj.	1.	defeated - beaten or overcome; not victorious; "the defeated enemy"
	2.	defeated - disappointingly unsuccessful; "disappointed expectations and thwarted ambitions"

It doesn't take much listening to preachers of today to hear said time and again we are to live "victorious" lives. The bit of truth to that concept is that we, through Christ, are given the victory over bondage to sin and to death. And we are to live lives that reflect that victory (another illustration of the light we are not to cover with a bushel basket).

But sadly, life is filled with defeats - As the definition above from Farlex's Free Dictionary reminds us - the term "defeated" can be both a noun and an adjective. It can also be an emotion.

I can honestly say that I have very rarely doubted, and never seriously doubted, my call to ministry. I can say without fear of contradiction that I have longed for another calling.  Why? mostly because of the emotion (and sometimes literal) defeat I have felt. Some is the result of what I can label as nothing less than pride, while at other times, the defeated feelings have come when, despite my best effort, most sincere prayers, and best of intentions, I have failed (at least in my own eyes).

How many people have I shared, or tried to share, the Gospel of Jesus Christ with, who have continued on without any sign of trusting the message? While I realize it is not Michael they are rejecting, but Jesus Christ - it is hard to hold on to that when the experience is so regular.

Or when I feel defeated because I find that I have not been dealt with honestly.

Or when I realize that I have genuinely failed - as a pastor, husband, or father (even if in but a relatively small way).

I feel defeated when I allow doubts to creep in.

I feel defeated when I allow emotions to overrule faith and what I know to be true.

I feel defeated when I believe I have "done it right, but see no results".

Is it unreasonable to feel defeated as a pastor, when you see little or no growth in the ministry? Is it unfair to characterize myself as having failed when the church I am serving in finds itself approaching the uncomfortable position of not being able to pay my salary?

Have I not defeated myself when I have led my family to rely upon a certain income level, to not be set up for family defeat with the prospects of a major salary cut and the need to find secular employment (I have absolutely nothing against bi-vocational ministry, but I also recognize the costs and special challenges involved - the subject of a whole other discussion to soon follow).

Is it wrong to feel defeated when it seems you are spinning your proverbial wheels, but getting little traction?

Is it improper to feel defeated when members your own flock are afraid or unwilling to share their issues with you, preferring to remain silent and allowing interpersonal troubles with others to fester and grow?

Is it out of line to feel defeat when you pour your heart and soul into trying to help, guide, and direct people to make better decisions - God-glorifying decisions, only to see them repeatedly reject or throw away those efforts?

Satan loves for the followers of Christ to feel defeated. In part because he knows that we are not ultimately and eternally defeated - so his only means of discouraging us, of derailing our ministry (whether vocational ministry or layman ministry) is by pushing us to live defeated lives.

The sad truth is - it is easy in the building up of my own little pity-party of defeat, that the joy of salvation grows dim. Its at times like this that I just have to cling to such passages as what King David wrote in Psalm 51:9-12

Hide your face from my sins,

and blot out all my iniquities.

Create in me a clean heart, O God,

and renew a right spirit within me.

Cast me not away from your presence,

and take not your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation,

and uphold me with a willing spirit...

Or - as set to music by Mac Powell:

To my readers - I ask for your prayers as my family must address the realities set before us and seek God's plan and provision. I pray for peace and for the restoration of my heart and soul. I pray for genuine progress in ministry. I pray for clarity, vision, and strength. 

Anxiety, Depression, and the Joy of Salvation

I would like to preface this post with a disclaimer - I am fully aware that there is a diagnosable, treatable condition called "depression". I am in no-way dismissing the real condition, though I do propose genuine depression is far more rare than diagnosed, and is almost always complicated by spiritual matters.

David wrote, in Psalm 51 some touching words - I would like to focus a bit on verse 12:

"Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit..."

What was King David writing about? The context is rather telling - as David had just been confronted by Nathan the prophet over David's adultery with Bathsheba. You see, had we the power to travel back in time to observe what was going on, we would find David in a funk that most today would call "depression". But we must also realize, David was already on this path long before the adulterous affair. he was neglecting his duties as King and had, for all practical purposes, become distant and disconnected. David's spiritual slide reached a peak with the Bathsheba incident.

How many of us experience a spiritual "slide", with or without a "Bathsheba incident"? And what is the result?  Lost joy.

The symptoms are often much like David's - disconnect, depression, anxiety, fear, and sometimes much more. For the born-again believer in Jesus Christ, it sometimes leads to withdrawing from the local church, intentionally seeking flaws and faults and exploiting them for what can only be described as dividing. Sometimes the symptom for the church member is a refocus not on the Gospel, but on self - personal preferences, "my way", or a militant resistance to anything new. Fellowship with fellow believers suffers, but more troubling - this person's relationship with the Lord suffers.

What happened? Sometimes it is a simple matter of having given in to the lie that not all sins are a "big deal". We forget that scripture tells us "the wages of sin is death" (Romans 6:23). The language here doesn't differentiate between "little sins" and "big sins", "bad lies" and "good lies", and so forth. All sin, but its very nature is worthy of death.

And this leads us to the vaccine for depression and loss of Joy in salvation - and that is to remind ourselves that we all are, by our nature, worthy of eternal death and separation, yet the Lord in His infinite mercy and grace chose us, draws us, and redeems us by the blood of Christ. It is that redemption that seals up another promise of the Lord - to never leave us or forsake us. (Hebrews 13:5).

The sad truth is, whenever we feel that the Lord is distant, that we experience depression or undue anxiety, it is nearly always the product of our own distancing ourselves. Whether from the aforementioned sin, or by allowing people to take up residence in our minds and hearts through grudges and an unwillingness to forgive. When we allow others and their attacks to bring us down to their level. When we allow the situations and issues of the day draw our eyes off our Savior and the great salvation He provided us - then we are inevitably going to loose grip on the joy of the Lord's salvation.

Let us remember - this all boils down to a very real spiritual battle going on. It is the very kind of battle that the apostle Paul wrote of in Ephesians 6:10-12 of those we are REALLY doing battle with. It isn't against people (as bad as they can behave).  We are at war with the forces of darkness led by Satan. Sometimes among his pawns we find the Atheist and Agnostic, the Pagan, the Satanist, and sometimes we find the professed Christian! Indeed, it is my experience that Satan's favorite pawns are those who claim to belong to Christ, as these are the very people we should see as examples, as the very people we can count on to bear our burdens, to lift us up, and to help us forward. This is why it hurts so much (as compared to the attacks from outside) when those we see as brothers and sisters in Christ become our antagonists.

But again - perspective is absolutely necessary - the battle is the Lord's. We are simply to stand fast (Ephesians 6) in the power, not of our own, but of the Lord. We need to dwell on those things that are pure, good, holy, and righteous. We must take on the full armor of God. We must trust the Word of God. We must fully trust in the completed work of Christ. And we must put into practice the very life He has called us to.  Is Jesus really your "all in all"? Is He really Who you are trusting?

Miss the Joy of Salvation? Feel helpless and distant from God? Then call out to Him, take on the Whole Armor of God, trust completely in Him, remember what He died to save you from. Draw near to Him.

Where You There?

Jesus was preached...
                               ...were you there?

The Word of God Proclaimed...
                              ...were you there?

God was glorified...
                              ...were you there?

The Holy Spirit was present...
                              ...were you there?

Someone needed to hear your encouragement...
                              ...were you there?

Someone needed a hug...
                              ...were you there?

A young preacher poured his heart out...
                              ...were you there?

A broken heart was mended...
                              ...were you there?

The Lord spoke...
                              ...were you there?

In local churches, brothers and sisters in Christ assembled, sung songs and hymns of praise (Ephesians 5:19),  the Gospel was proclaimed (Acts 15:35), and many who profess the name of Christ were absent.

In a church somewhere - those assembled rejoiced as another soul came to saving faith...

In a local church, a life was changed...

Maybe in YOUR church...
                              ...were you there?

It Is Well...

The power of music, in  my view, is second only to the power of God's Word when it comes to touching us to the very soul.  Combine the truth of God's Word with music, and we have an incredibly powerful tool to help plant great comfort, solid biblical doctrine, and even conviction in the hearts of mankind.

One such song/hymn that stands about among the greatest - indeed it is my unquestioned favorite, is It Is Well, sometimes called "Peace Like a River".  With words penned by Horatio Spafford, and music by Phillip Bliss, this hymn cuts directly to the core of the matter - the absolute truth that, for those who have completely trusted the Savior Jesus Christ, even the worst this world can deal out to us can be handled and overcome by the very grace of God.  There is unbelievable comfort in truly KNOWING the Savior.  Not a promise of ease or physical comfort - but He does promise to never leave us or forsake us Hebrews 13:5-6!

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

But, Lord, ‘tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh trump of the angel! Oh voice of the Lord!
Blessèd hope, blessèd rest of my soul!

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

Spafford truly understood what he was writing.  This hymn followed two massive catastrophic, life-changing events in his life.  The first was the "Great Chicago Fire" of 1871 in which destroyed him financially.  The second, and more poignant was the loss of all four of his daughters when the ship they were traveling on in the Atlantic collided with another ship.  His wife, Anna, sent him the telegram message "saved alone".

Several weeks later, when Horatio was able to travel, he asked the ship's staff to let him know when they neared where the collision had occurred.  When the time came, he went out on the deck and watched the sea "billows" roll, while contemplating what had befallen him. But instead of being overcome with grief, great comfort came over him - and the words of this great hymn were the result.

Horatio Spafford knew the grief of painful loss.  Yet his faith in his Savior sustained him - and gave him a message in music to help us today.  Know that the Lord is with you.  And cling to the last verse - come sweet Jesus!